On GrandParents And Parents

Unfortunately, we cannot go back and re-raise our kids. We can only do better from now on.

However, this is what makes becoming a Grandparent so wonderful. I see my parenting mistakes and I have learned a different way to open my heart.  I do not hold back with my Grands. I let them jump on the beds as babies, leave their blankets lying around and kept them snuggled next to me while watching television. Now they are preteens, and I listen when they have concerns, allow them to come to my home and say next to nothing just so they can feel calm and quiet after a fight with their Parents. I hug them and always let them know how precious they are to me.

When my Children were younger, I would randomly take them flowers or balloons or a- Just Because I Love You Card- and drop them off at the school office for no other reason than to remind them that they were Special and Loved Massively.  But, I was also more firm, expected more from them and spent a lot of time teaching them right from wrong. I was so determined to get it right that I went to college and studied psychology and  interpersonal communications, conflict resolution, philosophy, literature, etc. I even taught interpersonal communication from the perspective of film for a while.   I took these classes personally and brought the information home and and shared it with my family.  Now, I know that the very precious gifts that I thought I was giving them have molded them into Dynamic Adults.  I was always trying to find new and better ways to build strong children.  But, we do not hug or just sit and talk and enjoy each other’s company. I always seem to be trying to fix things. My children have communicated to me that just because they are not doing things the way I did them does not mean that they are doing it wrong. Sitting and considering this taught me that my children are Great Adults and Parents. My Grandchildren are wonderful all seven of them.

I held so much back with my Kids.I had high expectations for myself to teaching them how to fit into the world in hopes that they would be independent and successful in life. I did special things for them. I told them I Loved them a lot, but still not as freely as with my Grands. Now, I realize why my Grandparents were so special, especially my Great Grandparents. I believe that they were special because they learned more and more how precious it is to just sit down and visit with family.  My Parents are Great Grandparents and my Paternal Grandmother is a living Great Great Grandparent. She will be 100 this year.  I see the differences in the way each generation reacts to each other. My Grandmother is much easier to become annoyed by my Dad than with Me. And, it is the same with my Parents.  My Dad smiles more around his Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren. He is more short tempered with us, His Children.  Expectations really do relax over time. I have a photo of my Daddy holding my third Granddaughter. His smile is beautiful.  I will put that image up as the lead image to this article.

I did not know that I would feel so differently with my Grandchildren. However, I am pleased that I have been given the Honor of being the Granddaughter of my Grandmother, the Daughter of my Parents, the Mother of my Children, and the Grandmother of my Grands and whatever comes next for my family.  I am happy for them to one day read my insights into this aspect of our family life.  I am also happy to get to share these insights with my Husband whose only beloved Grandparent died when he was a child. He gets to share the the expected trials and tribulations that come with being a part of a big family that loves so passionately with many generations of perspectives to keep life so interesting.